Boricua en la Lima

He's always been a study in contrasts. Super sensitive yet tough as nails. Smart yet vulnerable. Independent yet attached. Loves his sister yet fights with her like crazy. Irritates the hell out of you yet you can't help but love him. Congrats on your 9th bday baby boy. I love you to Jupiter and back. I hope you find your place in this world, I hope you keep being as sensitive and loving as you have been for the past 9 years. I hope the world is everything you have hoped for. I hope...you continue to hope. P.S. I wish the picture wasn't as blurry but it's all I got! I'm actually a little bit sad that the last set of "good" pictures I took was Xmas 2016. Am I destined for that? To only take good pictures (like with an actual camera) on bdays and major holidays?

I cannot believe I've been a mother for 10 years. I didn't think I would make it past 1 year! In fact, I remember having conversations with friends before getting pregnant about NOT wanting to get pregnant because I was afraid of bringing kids into this messed up world and not being able to protect them from all the evil in the world.  In fact, a couple of weeks after we had brough Gabi home we rented the movie Crash on Netflix and I remember telling my husband while we were watching the movie, "OMG, what have I done? How could I have been so careless? How could I have brought her into this world!?".  That world in the movie was so scary and so messed up and so randomly cruel, I just couldn't believe I was going to have to raise a kid in it (let alone two!). But, ten years later, my kids have shown me how wrong (and selfish) I was to think that way. They have taught me that even in this messed up world they can be smart, caring, considerate, loving, and worr...

Gabi turned 9 last week. This year I decided to forego the huge birthday party production in favor of one of those places you pay to go to for a few hours, but it still ended up being a massive party-filled week. On Monday (the day before her birthday) I was literally sick to my stomach and could barely get out of bed the whole day. I attempted to go to work around noon just so I could get her a little something to open up on Tuesday morning (her big gift was an iPod which she had already gotten a month before) but I could barely stand up. That night she looked so sad that I was sick and kept asking me "Mom, are you going to be OK tomorrow for my birthday?".  She had already said weeks ago she wanted breakfast in bed (pancakes) so damnit if I wasn't going to get better by Tuesday morning so I could make her breakfast in bed (Jose had to help some cause I was weak and woozy but we did it).  It took me basically all week to recover my energy and appetite after being sick ...

When Lima is so quiet I cannot sleep When the kids are neatly tucked in bed Waiting for the tooth fairy to brighten their day And my husband's breathing is even and stead And the sky's pinkish hue overpowers the gray That will cover the sun come the next day When no car, bird or dog makes their maddening noise When runners find that perfect peace, out on the streets with just their feet And it's only me in my bed and my running thoughts And Lima's my lover and we get along But then I'm jolted out of bed by the sound of an alarm that rings too soon Thrown into the chaos of traffic lights and honking cars And Lima and I are enemies for the day Each one struggling in the crowd of unproductive people trying to look busy So take me back to that morning glory When everything is quiet except for my head And Lima once again becomes my lover, though I cannot wed When Lima is so quiet I cannot sleep I need the chaos to fall asleep Yet I cannot stand it duri...

It has been a whirlwind of a month! First Mom came to visit for about a month and that usually coincides with one of our kid´s birthdays (this time it was Sebas´ turn). So there was a lot of running around in the beginning of April to create the most magical of Star Wars birthday parties! Except if you´re a girl or a boy under the age of 6 and then you pretty much hated the party because Darth Vader and Darth Maul were the scariest things you had ever seen in your life. Then Mom left right after the birthday party and Dad came with his wife about 2 days later to spend Easter weekend with us. It was a great visit, we did a lot of touristy things that I don´t normally get to do with Mom.   We went to the Ballesta Isles in Paracas to see the wildlife, we went to pisco tours to learn about that whole process, and we went to do the sand buggies in the Ica dessert, something I had never done before which was really cool and highly recommended, except a little scary much like this...

We're on our way back to the train station from Machu Picchu and I am so happy that I've gotten to enjoy a well deserved couple of days off as well as seeing the kids enjoy themselves in Cuzco so much when I get am email from the school administration that a kid in pre-kinder has passed away. No name, no explanation, just a note saying that they have rallied all the counseling support they can to deal with this thing on Monday morning when the kids go back to school. First thing I wonder is if the kid was in my kid's classroom, were they friends? How will they explain this to my kid, how will I explain this to my kid? Will all the kids react as if it was a non-event or will their little worlds be shattered? Obviously this is nothing compared to Newton but I find myself at a loss here too, not understanding how God can let something so tragic and sad happen. It's Father's Day tomorrow and I feel so horrible for the parents of this kid, what they must be going throu...

I can't write anything about the Newton school tragedy because it still hurts to even think about it. I've been trying to avoid the news and Facebook because every time I hear about one of the children or one of the teachers who died helping save children my heart breaks all over again.  I was literally sick to my stomach all day Friday and I cried at all hours of the day in the most inconvenient places.  I drank half a bottle of wine to numb the pain and cried myself to sleep.  And I'm just a spectator in this whole big mess, I can't even imagine the pain the parents are going through right now. So instead I'll just write about the last race we did which included Sebas and had a very festive Holiday feel to it so those were my two favorite things about it.  I did 8 Km (5 miles) in 45:54 which is a personal best for me but it was also hard because I was trying to keep up with my husband the whole time.  Then towards the end when we wanted me to go faster becau...

This weekend we continued with the birthday celebrations for Gabi (and boy am I glad it's done!).  Friday we took TEN girls to the movie theater to see a local movie (partly Peruvian and partly Argentinian) about a mouse who needs to find a princesses' tooth in order to save his kingdom.  I got a mini van to take all the kids from school to the mall and then we brought them home to sing Happy Birthday to Gabi and have some cupcake before all the kids got picked up.  I was totally pooped by the end of the day but Gabi was so happy to share with her new friends from school. Saturday we had Sports Day at Gabi's school and then a family BBQ here at Jose's grandma's house to celebrate four family birthdays including Gabi's.  We had a great time with all the family and ate like champs, but boy was I glad to wake up Sunday morning and realize there were no more kids' birthday activities on the agenda! Sunday morning Gabi had her first marinera class and w...

Now it's time for me to write an Olympics post from behind a TV set instead of from a nosebleed seat from some Olympic venue in London.  It's my penultimate night in Switzerland and we've been reported for a noise complaint.  This embodies my experience in Switzerland.  Controlled madness.  I can be excited for Puerto Rico's performance in the Olympic games but not enough to bother the neighbors (oh and by the way a lady next door kept me up half the night bawling at 2:30 am two nights ago, super weird).  What propelled this noise complaint? (Normally I would be shocked but when it comes to my voice and decibels of course I am not).  I just happened to be for the first time in many many months jumping up and down in front of my TV rooting for Puerto Rico's own Javier Culson in the 400m men's hurdle.  He was one of a handful of Puerto Rican athletes in the 2012 Olympics and happened to be a favorite in this event at the Olympics all along and came in 3...

In your short three years you went to more places than a lot of us humans go in their entire lifetime. US, Puerto Rico, Peru, Switzerland, France, Italy, Spain. And you were probably made in China so that's one more. Sorry to see you go so soon, I was hoping to keep you in a treasure chest and one day take you out and reminisce about the days when my baby was still a baby.