Boricua en la Lima

I cannot believe I've been a mother for 10 years. I didn't think I would make it past 1 year! In fact, I remember having conversations with friends before getting pregnant about NOT wanting to get pregnant because I was afraid of bringing kids into this messed up world and not being able to protect them from all the evil in the world.  In fact, a couple of weeks after we had brough Gabi home we rented the movie Crash on Netflix and I remember telling my husband while we were watching the movie, "OMG, what have I done? How could I have been so careless? How could I have brought her into this world!?".  That world in the movie was so scary and so messed up and so randomly cruel, I just couldn't believe I was going to have to raise a kid in it (let alone two!). But, ten years later, my kids have shown me how wrong (and selfish) I was to think that way. They have taught me that even in this messed up world they can be smart, caring, considerate, loving, and worr...

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Probably because I'm too sensitive and if there is such a thing, too empathetic.  One of my dear friend´s 20 month old daughter was undergoing planned open heart surgery.  She was born with a heart murmur and they waited all this time to see if it would shrink, which it did, but not enough for her to be able to live a healthy life without the risk of problems later down the road. So they made the tough choice of having the 5-6 hour open heart surgery.  At the same time as I was sending positive vibes her way I start finding out that in one of my previous jobs everyone except for 5 people are getting fired.  So my heart starts breaking little by little. The fact that my friends were getting fired was tough enough, but waiting 5-6 hours without hearing news about my friend's daughter was heart breaking to say the least.  I couldn't even imagine how my friend must have been feeling.  My dear Sebas had surgery when he was ab...

Gabi turned 9 last week. This year I decided to forego the huge birthday party production in favor of one of those places you pay to go to for a few hours, but it still ended up being a massive party-filled week. On Monday (the day before her birthday) I was literally sick to my stomach and could barely get out of bed the whole day. I attempted to go to work around noon just so I could get her a little something to open up on Tuesday morning (her big gift was an iPod which she had already gotten a month before) but I could barely stand up. That night she looked so sad that I was sick and kept asking me "Mom, are you going to be OK tomorrow for my birthday?".  She had already said weeks ago she wanted breakfast in bed (pancakes) so damnit if I wasn't going to get better by Tuesday morning so I could make her breakfast in bed (Jose had to help some cause I was weak and woozy but we did it).  It took me basically all week to recover my energy and appetite after being sick ...

Silliness uncontrolled Acts of goofiness filmed Friendship rekindled Connections reestablished Mindfulness restored Mind quieted Thoughts scattered Honesty unobstructed Problems forgotten Conversations sparked Jokes shared Gossip amplified Heart overjoyed Energy spent and re-gained Life purpose re-thought Happiness re-analyzed Plans re-worked Dreams re-ignited Livelihood found Advice shared Music unplugged Binge-eating accepted Binge-drinking encouraged Exercise postponed Babies missed Caffeine injected  ALS challenges avoided Goodbyes un-welcomed Memories created Friendship reaffirmed Girlfriends missed

When Lima is so quiet I cannot sleep When the kids are neatly tucked in bed Waiting for the tooth fairy to brighten their day And my husband's breathing is even and stead And the sky's pinkish hue overpowers the gray That will cover the sun come the next day When no car, bird or dog makes their maddening noise When runners find that perfect peace, out on the streets with just their feet And it's only me in my bed and my running thoughts And Lima's my lover and we get along But then I'm jolted out of bed by the sound of an alarm that rings too soon Thrown into the chaos of traffic lights and honking cars And Lima and I are enemies for the day Each one struggling in the crowd of unproductive people trying to look busy So take me back to that morning glory When everything is quiet except for my head And Lima once again becomes my lover, though I cannot wed When Lima is so quiet I cannot sleep I need the chaos to fall asleep Yet I cannot stand it duri...

It has been a whirlwind of a month! First Mom came to visit for about a month and that usually coincides with one of our kid´s birthdays (this time it was Sebas´ turn). So there was a lot of running around in the beginning of April to create the most magical of Star Wars birthday parties! Except if you´re a girl or a boy under the age of 6 and then you pretty much hated the party because Darth Vader and Darth Maul were the scariest things you had ever seen in your life. Then Mom left right after the birthday party and Dad came with his wife about 2 days later to spend Easter weekend with us. It was a great visit, we did a lot of touristy things that I don´t normally get to do with Mom.   We went to the Ballesta Isles in Paracas to see the wildlife, we went to pisco tours to learn about that whole process, and we went to do the sand buggies in the Ica dessert, something I had never done before which was really cool and highly recommended, except a little scary much like this...

Recently I got the iPad mini as a Xmas present, so I gave my two kids the older Gen 2 iPad for them to play with.  Last night my daughter says can I open an instagram account for her. Well, she didn't exactly say instagram.  She goes "can you sign me up for that thing where you follow people and see their pictures"? Since I have already told her a million times she's not getting on Facebook anytime soon I assumed that she meant instagram (she did). This one friend from her classroom has an iPad mini HERSELF and likely every social media app loaded on it (I won't even comment on this, I still have to argue with my daughter every day about the fact that she's not getting a cell phone until she's at least 10).  But of course since my daughter's friend has instagram then it follows that my daughter wants to follow her friend.  So I download the app on "their" iPad, register her, and start following just a few folks (mostly family and myself of co...

...for end of year parties and Christmas productions and most importantly Christmas and Summer! Here´s Sebas´ Christmas show from school this morning...

We're on our way back to the train station from Machu Picchu and I am so happy that I've gotten to enjoy a well deserved couple of days off as well as seeing the kids enjoy themselves in Cuzco so much when I get am email from the school administration that a kid in pre-kinder has passed away. No name, no explanation, just a note saying that they have rallied all the counseling support they can to deal with this thing on Monday morning when the kids go back to school. First thing I wonder is if the kid was in my kid's classroom, were they friends? How will they explain this to my kid, how will I explain this to my kid? Will all the kids react as if it was a non-event or will their little worlds be shattered? Obviously this is nothing compared to Newton but I find myself at a loss here too, not understanding how God can let something so tragic and sad happen. It's Father's Day tomorrow and I feel so horrible for the parents of this kid, what they must be going throu...

In the wake of the recent Yahoo controversy, I read this blog post by Penelope Trunk that gave me a huge wake up call.  I´ve already been feeling the pressure of the new job -- people in this job spend way more hours at the job than what I´m used to from my previous job and it´s been making me feel super guilty with the kids at home.  At the same time I don´t even feel like I´m spending enough time at work because the learning curve is so huge and I should be spending a ton more hours to really understand what´s going on and to be at par with co-workers and managers.  So the constant work life balance struggle was starting to tug at me again. It´s also been a shock to my system just because I had something in my previous job that I took for granted that apparently isn´t as common as I would´ve initially thought.  Lots of people around me who wanted the same things for their work-life balance, they wanted to get ahead but also be there for their kids. So I keep cry...

While this summer has gone by way too fast (the kids already start school next Monday!), I have loved the opportunity to give the kids so many cultural and sports activities to enjoy.  Just to give you an idea Sebas has done soccer, general sports, swimming, and ceramics, while Gabi has done tennis, gymnastics, swimming and art.  This last Saturday at the beach Gabi had the opportunity to participate in a workshop by a famous local artist called Marcelo Wong .  I have always loved his work but it´s a bit pricey for me! But his style is just too cute for words. Whimsical is probably the best term I can come up with! I really wish I could put one of his pieces in each room in my new house. So when Gabi was invited to this workshop we were both super excited.  She didn´t even know why Marcelo Wong was so famous but when he came over to ask her what she wanted to do with her piece she was swooning! :) She worked on her piece all morning and then at night w...

Last week was rough...kids were sick, it was my first week at work, and Jose was out of town. To top that off at the end of the week of course I was sick too. We ended up not going to the beach for the weekend cause the kids kept having fevers every other day. One day one kid was fine and the other one had a fever and the other day it was flipped. This week things are finally starting to feel a bit more under control. I´m feeling a little less frazzled at work, Jose can help a little bit in the mornings and the kids are finally coming out of being sick and starting to go to all their summer activities so I don´t feel like a horrible mom for not being with them while they´re sick. Hopefully tomorrow we can make it back out to the beach house and relax a bit this weekend!

I yelled at the kids probably more than I should've this morning. I broke a hair brush trying to get Gabi to listen to me! I wanted them to understand it was my first day of work and it was so important to me and could they just behave for ONE day!?! Of course they were totally oblivious to how important today was to me, why should they understand? Gabi actually wanted to come to the office with me! Jose is traveling this week too and that didn't help with the morning routine. Funny thing was I was just sad to leave them and was acting out. Of course I was a bit stressed because I wanted my first day of work to go smoothly and it wasn't going smoothly at all. But of course I should've never expected it to go smoothly, not with two young children in the house! But more than anything I was just sad to leave them after so long. I cried a few times before actually walking through the office doors.  I felt like coming back from maternity leave times ten.  Because now they...

I am hoping '13 is my lucky number.  I hope so for everyone out there too! We had a nice relaxing (and long) beach weekend for NYE and while the kids are almost saying "the sun is too much" at this point (and it's only the beginning of the summer!), they are definitely enjoying the water more and more this year.  Last year Sebas wouldn't even go in the water because it's so cold (he takes after me in that respect, preferring the warm waters of the Caribbean to the icy Pacific).  But this year they have found joy in beach toys, floaties and boogie boards!  Not to mention ice cream.  I hope this last weekend is a sign of how fun this summer will be for them.  And I hope sunblock makers really know what they're doing, especially with Sebas beacuse he's so pale! Gabi's already got the most enviable tan ever.

We've been taking advantage of the beach at the Regatas ever since we got in!  What's not to love? Some days have been nicer than others but I think we're on track to be super tanned by the end of the summer.  In fact, I'm not quite sure how we're supposed to be in the sun for the next 12 weekends or so! We also had a really nice Christmas at "home" (our temporary home) with the whole family.  Here's a couple of pictures of the kids and Dad around the Christmas tree at family's house. Now we're looking forward to 2013 with lots of changes, maybe even more than 2012!  New house, new job, new nanny for the kids, new school for Sebas, a very busy summer in the middle of trying to do all that.  I think I'm setting myself up for a slight nervous breakdown but everything just collided time-wise! I wish I could find the 2012 horoscope I read at the beginning of the year which turned out to be soooo right -- it predicted the m...

I can't write anything about the Newton school tragedy because it still hurts to even think about it. I've been trying to avoid the news and Facebook because every time I hear about one of the children or one of the teachers who died helping save children my heart breaks all over again.  I was literally sick to my stomach all day Friday and I cried at all hours of the day in the most inconvenient places.  I drank half a bottle of wine to numb the pain and cried myself to sleep.  And I'm just a spectator in this whole big mess, I can't even imagine the pain the parents are going through right now. So instead I'll just write about the last race we did which included Sebas and had a very festive Holiday feel to it so those were my two favorite things about it.  I did 8 Km (5 miles) in 45:54 which is a personal best for me but it was also hard because I was trying to keep up with my husband the whole time.  Then towards the end when we wanted me to go faster becau...

...like I really want to move to my new house but probably won't be able to until the end of January! Argh, so frustrating.  Trying to be really patient but there are just some "creature comforts" I feel like I am entitled to NOW! Like what you say (thinking I sound like a Gen Y'er or Millenial or whatever they're called).  Like clothes for work would be nice.  Yep, I've accepted a job offer with L'Oreal and I need to start soon but guess what, all my working clothes are in boxes, together with my summer clothes.  Well it's getting warm and it's getting to the point where I'm going to need professional looking clothes but all those things are still in boxes because I never thought it would take this long to move into our new place.  The cat is also starting to act out -- he's peeing and pooping in places he's not supposed to.  And I know that part of it is because he's living with a dog which he's not used to doing and he's...

I've been delaying posting this week. First I got sick with a stomach bug which left me in bed zonked out like a zombie and then there was a death of someone we know in Lima who sadly took his own life at a very young age and left behind mourning parents and grandparents. I can't imagine something more painful for a parent to go through and I still cannot wrap my head around it. It's been a very tough pill to swallow and both things have made me less than grateful for the last few days. But after hearing mass today at the funeral I heard the message of gratitude over and over again. And it just so happened to fall on Thanksgiving which is not even celebrated here in Peru. I haven't been to mass in so long but I definitely heard the message loud and clear. So today I give thanks because though it is very hard to be grateful at times I know it's the only way. I give thanks for life, health, and these beautiful munchkins.

This weekend we continued with the birthday celebrations for Gabi (and boy am I glad it's done!).  Friday we took TEN girls to the movie theater to see a local movie (partly Peruvian and partly Argentinian) about a mouse who needs to find a princesses' tooth in order to save his kingdom.  I got a mini van to take all the kids from school to the mall and then we brought them home to sing Happy Birthday to Gabi and have some cupcake before all the kids got picked up.  I was totally pooped by the end of the day but Gabi was so happy to share with her new friends from school. Saturday we had Sports Day at Gabi's school and then a family BBQ here at Jose's grandma's house to celebrate four family birthdays including Gabi's.  We had a great time with all the family and ate like champs, but boy was I glad to wake up Sunday morning and realize there were no more kids' birthday activities on the agenda! Sunday morning Gabi had her first marinera class and w...

My girl is all grown up.  I got one of those personalized emails from Baby Center yesterday which said the following: Congrats! You're entering one of the most rewarding phases of parenthood. Now your child requires  less hands-on supervision and care , but he still looks up to you for guidance and support. His curiosity, excitement, and eagerness to learn make him a charming companion in the year ahead. His academic interests begin to take shape, too. Growing exposure to science,  writing ,  math , and other subjects will give you a sense of where his natural interests lie. This sounds like peaches and cream right?  Except for the fact that she has a 4.5 year old brother with whom she wakes up fighting every day and goes to sleep fighting every night.  So individually my daughter is all that this email describes, but in a sister-brother team we still have a long way to go towards the "lovable sevens". That's no reason to hold back on celebrating th...