End of training

While my friends back in Cincinnati were getting ready for the Flying Pig yesterday morning, I was in the middle of my longest run before the half marathon a couple of weeks from now.  12 miles.  I went for a morning run this time just so I could try to get it over with earlier.  At the beginning Jose called me and by picking up the call I kinda messed up the whole GPS so the whole time I wasn't sure what was going on from a pacing standpoint.  But from the looks of it I was able to keep up a 10 min. per mile pace which I'm comfortable with for training.  Now I don't know if I'll be able to take that down to about 9:30 during actual race day so that I can beat my last time of 2 hours 10 minutes, but I'm honestly less concerned about the time than I am about actually finishing.  Because let me tell you my biggest lesson from this year's training is that doing those long runs solo is a really painful experience.  A very challenging mental exercise.  Half of the time I'm telling myself to quit while the other half of me is giving me a slap on the shoulder for going the distance.  It's truly the quintessential "evil vs. good" on the shoulder battle with the little devil and the little angel talking into your ear.  This time the good guy seemed to prevail, as as I got closer to the end of the run I kept telling myself "I have NOT come this far to quit now".  I hope that feeling stays with me for race day.

Sadly at mile 11 I realized I had lost a very valuable earring my Mom gave me after I was born which means I've basically had the pair for my whole life.  The devastating realization sent me to my knees right at mile 11, I know I shouldn't hang on to material things but that set of earrings was just so important to me. My sister, mom and I all have the same pair and we've had them forever.  I am still reeling from the "loss".  I sat there at mile 11 trying to regain my composure and then did the last mile walking and crying at the same time until I got to the bus station and caught the bus home.  I was upset the rest of the day and I'm still upset this morning -- more than anything mad at myself for not being more careful with something so valuable, wishing I could turn back the clock so I could safely put them away and not have them on me during the run.  Obviously the thought of going over my steps again crossed my mind, but imagine, lakeside in Geneva over a 12 mile stretch of ground. The chances are less than zero.  So now, now I just gotta keep going, just like in running, reminding myself that life is about the living and that I have not come this far to give up.

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