Father's Day Weekend
We're on our way back to the train station from Machu Picchu and I am so happy that I've gotten to enjoy a well deserved couple of days off as well as seeing the kids enjoy themselves in Cuzco so much when I get am email from the school administration that a kid in pre-kinder has passed away. No name, no explanation, just a note saying that they have rallied all the counseling support they can to deal with this thing on Monday morning when the kids go back to school. First thing I wonder is if the kid was in my kid's classroom, were they friends? How will they explain this to my kid, how will I explain this to my kid? Will all the kids react as if it was a non-event or will their little worlds be shattered? Obviously this is nothing compared to Newton but I find myself at a loss here too, not understanding how God can let something so tragic and sad happen.
It's Father's Day tomorrow and I feel so horrible for the parents of this kid, what they must be going through. If the other kids in school react as if this was a non-event will their patents and close family be the only ones to mourn the loss of a life taken way too soon? Is it better if my own son reacts nonchalantly to this or is it healthier for him to mourn his school mate in some way? What happens when he starts asking questions I may not be prepared to answer?
What if the kid is an only child and the parents have no other kids to hug at night for comfort from this horrible thing? Or what if the kid has siblings and the siblings are now expected to cope with such tragedy? I honestly don't know which scenario is worse. I don't know how to prepare my kid for school Monday morning, not knowing if the child is even from his classroom. Worse yet, I probably won't be there Monday evening to talk things over with him, I'll probably have another week from hell at work where I have to stay until midnight for a whole straight week working on some bullshit urgency that now seems totally unimportant compared to helping my kid go through something like this. Or worse yet, going through something like this in our own family. And then the guilt starts washing over me again. I don't want to regret having worked so much that I never had time for my kids. What if I was a parent losing a kid on a weekend such as Father's Day and wondering what the hell I was working so hard for when I missed out on spending time with the most important people to me!? I know my husband would call me a drama queen for making up such scenarios in my head but I just can't bear the thought of going through something that makes me regret having worked so freaking hard and then wondering what it was all for.
It's Father's Day tomorrow and I feel so horrible for the parents of this kid, what they must be going through. If the other kids in school react as if this was a non-event will their patents and close family be the only ones to mourn the loss of a life taken way too soon? Is it better if my own son reacts nonchalantly to this or is it healthier for him to mourn his school mate in some way? What happens when he starts asking questions I may not be prepared to answer?
What if the kid is an only child and the parents have no other kids to hug at night for comfort from this horrible thing? Or what if the kid has siblings and the siblings are now expected to cope with such tragedy? I honestly don't know which scenario is worse. I don't know how to prepare my kid for school Monday morning, not knowing if the child is even from his classroom. Worse yet, I probably won't be there Monday evening to talk things over with him, I'll probably have another week from hell at work where I have to stay until midnight for a whole straight week working on some bullshit urgency that now seems totally unimportant compared to helping my kid go through something like this. Or worse yet, going through something like this in our own family. And then the guilt starts washing over me again. I don't want to regret having worked so much that I never had time for my kids. What if I was a parent losing a kid on a weekend such as Father's Day and wondering what the hell I was working so hard for when I missed out on spending time with the most important people to me!? I know my husband would call me a drama queen for making up such scenarios in my head but I just can't bear the thought of going through something that makes me regret having worked so freaking hard and then wondering what it was all for.
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